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Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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