You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
