I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
