What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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