the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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