soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
