he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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