Capitaan dildo arrescate!
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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