Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
