I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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