Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
