i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
