and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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