the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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