Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
