I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
