no, he came in my armpit
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
