She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
