I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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