Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
