That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
