Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
