Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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