I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just pee around me
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
