I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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