Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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