I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I woke up under a house in Key West
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
