but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
