She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
