What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
