Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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