Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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