Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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