Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
