i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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