Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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