Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
