Ambien. No doubt about it.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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