it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
