So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
