we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
