i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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