My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
