I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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