i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
