We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
