Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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