I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
