He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize