Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
