Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
