Ketchup is God's man juice
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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