how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
