My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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