I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
