I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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