Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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