Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
