Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
