Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
