the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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