I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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