I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize